the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
