He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
