her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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