did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Last time i carry you out of a forest
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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