Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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