So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
There are leaves in my underwear?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
