real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
