Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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