i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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