I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
