I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
