Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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