Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
