i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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