i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
