Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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