dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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