Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
