If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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