Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
