I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
