My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
