You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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