Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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