when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
