Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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