No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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