I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I need to calm my uterus...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
