I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
