I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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