ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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