Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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