The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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