I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
