Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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