Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
