I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
