You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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