Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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