At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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