she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
