So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
