i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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