I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
