sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How does it feel to date your dad?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
