I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
