when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize