did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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