dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize