I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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