Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
