He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize