My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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