Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
