batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize