I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
