And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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